Let me back up just a bit. For most of my life I have hated running. HATED it. It seemed pointless and exhausting, and I had accepted my fate as the first person to get eaten by the dawn of the dead zombies when they finally attacked. You're welcome, guys. But about a year ago a friend of mine started running again, and I was so impressed by his times and dedication that I attempted to run. And he tried to support me, he really did, but I was so UGH about the whole process that it sort of fell by the wayside. The farthest I'd ever run in my life was two miles, and that was followed by moaning and complaining about what a terrible choice I'd made. My cardio workouts were brisk walking at a high incline to burn as many calories as possible. But in December I decided I really wanted to keep up with his running -- and get myself back into shape -- and my attempts started to take form.
I ran consistently on the treadmill. Didn't want anyone to see my awkward gait and the sweat dripping off of me, but my friend rewarded all of my obnoxious "I ran for 8 minutes straight" texts with support and enthusiasm. Another friend at work, who has done two (TWO!!!) half-marathons joined in on the encouragement and signed us up for a 5k. I knew I had to get my ass in gear if I wanted to accomplish my goal.
I had to run outside.
The first obstacle was the fear of the great outdoors. At the end of April I started using the nikeplus app for my phone, and although it has some bugs that I am STILL waiting for support to fix, overall I like the pacing and distance notifications. One day the weather was nice, I was off of work, it was the middle of the day when most people wouldn't be driving the neighborhood to see my embarrassing attempts at running, and I decided to try it out. I ran two miles in gorgeous weather with my sunglasses on, and it changed my life forever. No, really, I swear it did.
See, I've struggled with my weight and my self-perception for most of my life. It's manifested in a variety of ways, most of them incredibly unhealthy. I started the Whole 30 in an attempt first to lose weight, but it quickly turned into a mental reset more than a physical. I changed the way I looked at fueling my body, and running turned into something to respect, something to enjoy. I realized there is no better challenge than overcoming your own mind. Lifting weights is impressive, but pushing yourself farther when your brain is saying stop but you know your legs have it in you? Your only competition is yourself.
I don't run to beat people. It's never going to happen. I run to continue to improve myself by racing against myself.
So I ran a 5k with my amazingly wonderful co-worker. She could have run much faster, but she kept pace with me and encouraged me all the way. Even though I kept saying "I'm going to die," she just laughed and kept me going. And I ran the entire thing! There were moments when I wanted to walk, but I pushed myself past it and kept going. Yes, once I sprinted the very last chunk of it and crossed the finish line, I may have walked to the nearest tree and collapsed in the shade in a sweaty, flailing heap, but I did it. And I did it in under 40 minutes, which was my other goal. 37:39. Next time, 35 minutes.
Let's do this, self.
