Fantasy Football Week 6&7: Oops, I Suck at Posting

Hey hey hey hey...

I know; I missed a week of posting, and I will write about that in a later post, but I wanted to at least let you know where I am.

I AM WINNING EVERYTHING.  I AM THE FANTASY QUEEN.

Okay, that's ridiculously obnoxious, but I'm honestly winning despite myself (direct quote from my dad) and Peyton Manning is single-handedly keeping my team afloat.  Yes, I have some breakouts, and I'm holding a few bench players that I think will get better and better as the season moves forward, but I'm honestly not doing too much.  And that's my own fault.

The Eagles had a bye week, so I had to swap some of my players around -- but I honestly thought I'd still watch football, especially the Monday night game, but I didn't.  Once.  The entire weekend.  And that's no fun for me. 

This post isn't fun, but I'm really not feeling it right now.  I'll be back to it next week though, I promise <3

Throwback Thurdsday: Home Movies Edition

Happy Thursday, y'all!  This week we're back with more home movie clips from my trip to Disney World when I was 4.  Throwback to 1991 and more of that killer haircut!
My favorite thing about these home movies -- there are SO many, and I hope you're excited -- is the early technology that my parents are very clearly abusing. Before digital cameras, there were video recorders, and my parents liked to treat ours like a camera.  In this vein, there are many moments where they act like they're taking photos of me, and I just have an awkward smile on my face because, even at 4, I know something is up. 
There's not as much talking in this one, unlike my hotel room tour when I won't shut up about the bathroom and opening a bottle of water for my dad, but it's still pretty spectacular.  That haircut, man.  This gives a clearer look at the bowl cut I rocked for many years.
What happens in this clip is pretty simple -- we come across a store that sells tutus, at a time when I was going through a confusing ballet stage (confusing because I did not take ballet, nor have I ever, but I was pretty into the idea of it.  It lasted less than a year), and my mother decides I should put it on and 'turn around!'
To be fair, my form is impeccable:

She just kept telling me to 'turn around!'  That's a big part of this video.  I guess that is the benefit to using a video recorder.  It's like wizard pictures!

Anyway, it goes on from there to my father putting me into a variety of costumes, some of which are better than others, and me just smiling awkwardly and 'turning around!'  My favorites, however, would be the food related costumes. 

Have you EVER seen a cuter hot dog?  Speaking of, I could really eat a hot dog right now...  Anyway, as we approach Halloween, maybe this will spark some ideas.

Fantasy Football Week 5: The Play-By-Play

Warning: I am currently overusing the word 'bitches' and I make no apologies.  Just a heads up.

I am a fiercely competitive person, but I try to contain that to areas where of strength; scrabble, jeopardy, board games, and floating. I am a champion floater, no joke. I cannot sink. Buoyancy, bitches. But anyway...
After last weeks surprising (but not really, because I had my reasons) win with Bridgewater, I've taken this a little more seriously. I looked at the match-ups and moved my roster not just based on projected points, but on how I felt teams would perform based on who and where and when they were playing. That was my reasoning for picking up the Packers defense, keeping Maclin on my roster for the week, and maybe some less successful changes.  I LOVE FANTASY.

 

Thursday Night: Green Bay vs. Minnesota

• I tend to work opening shifts on Friday mornings, so Thursday nights I end up in bed around the time football starts. Curse not having cable in my room, which I only regret during football season and baseball playoffs.
• I'm playing Jordy Nelson and the GB def tonight, and when I wake up, I'm sitting comfortably at 34.6 points.
• Put my glasses on because I'm sure that I can't be reading that right.
• Nope, that's a real thing. My defense went OFF last night against the Vikings.
• I go to work in a decent mood. Friday ends up being a pretty decent day that ends with Tacos.

Sunday Afternoon: Philadelphia vs. St. Louis

• My day starts with an early knock on my door and my dad telling me he's not feeling well and I need to find someone else to go to the game with me.  This is a problem; I don't really like going to games without my dad, and it's also 7am on a Sunday morning.
• I send three texts to no responses.  Panic sets in.  Eventually, dad downs some airbourne and we are on our way to the game. 
• While eating a hoagie (yes, its a HOAGIE) I insist that I will not check my fantasy points during the game.
• I am a fool.  Somehow I forgot that there's an entire screen that projects fantasy leaders, and I see one of my benched players listed.  Damn it, Vincent Jackson, rarely have I done right by you.  Le'Veon Bell isn't having a great game.  Martellus Bennett isn't having a great game; in fact, he's having a really crappy game.  I am complaining loudly to my father.  Luckily the Eagles are winning big right now.
• Ah.  As always, perhaps I spoke too soon. 
• The Eagles are now having a really crappy game.  My fantasy team is squeezing by on the solid start from Thursday night.  I need Maclin to catch ALL THE TOUCHDOWNS.   Instead, Foles must have thought I asked for several incomplete passes.  Thanks for nothing, man.  Then, with two minutes left in the 3rd, Maclin runs for a TD.  Not only does this make me feel better about this game, but FANTASY POINTS.  Thank goodness for Parkey this time around.

Sunday Afternoon into Evening: Denver vs. Arizona

• I know, I know, I should be watching this game but I'm SO TIRED and instead I watch the play-by-play on my phone while laying down for a bit.  By the time I get to yoga, I'm up 120 points to 60 in my match-up for this week.
• DEMARYIUS THOMAS, FINALLY.  Seriously, I've been sitting on him hoping and hoping and FINALLY.  I show this to Marissa, my yoga buddy, with excitement.  She has no idea what any of this means.  I'm so glad she's going to the game with me next week.
• When we get out of yoga, I decide I want pizza.  I'm doing paleo/whole30 again this month, and I want to eat ALL THE PIZZA before I can't for a month.  I check my fantasy score again.
• It is now 141 points to 64 points.  I know I should be all Namaste but screw it.  I'm crushing it this week, bitches.  YEAH, BITCH.

Sunday Night: New England vs. Cincinnati

• My team was done after the 4pm games ended.  This normally causes panic, but I am so far ahead right now, my match-up is playing one last person in this game (Giovani Bernard), and I'm up by 80 points.
• Plus pizza.  I am eating so much pizza.
• Damn, I really want pizza already.
• I don't watch this game when I get home because I fall asleep in my yoga clothes in a pizza coma.  It's beautiful.

Monday Night: Washington vs. Seattle

• Fantasy wise, this game means nothing to me.  My week is over.  I've won.  I feel like this dog.
• This game means something to me because I hate the Redskins.  I hate Maryland teams in general, although baseball right now has me feeling conflicted.  Am I currently an Orioles fan?  I guess I can be, since I'm not living in Baltimore anymore.
• Anyway, the Redskins losing is a beautiful ending to a great week in fantasy. 
• THIS DOG CAN'T EVEN, YOU GUYS.

Next week brings the most epic match-up of them all: Diana and I are playing each other.  NOVIA VS. NOVIA.  Bring it, bitch. Just kidding, I love you.  But I'm going to crush you.  #bestfriendsforever

Throwback Thursday: Relationship Advice Edition

It's Throwback Thursday, my darlings, and I'm back with another excerpt from the 11th grade notebook -- stay calm, I know you're excited.  In today's edition, we look at the first note written -- history in the making here, people! -- where I ask for advice on dealing with a clingy boyfriend.  Ah, it's like nothing has changed!  This note was written eleven years ago.  Let that sink in for a minute, especially if you went to high school with me.  Enjoy!

October 1st, first period


That's me in 11th grade on our marching band trip to California. 
I am wearing AMAZING purple high-tops.  SWAG.

OMG, (name omitted),
This is driving me CRAZY.  I hate boyfriends, I hate clingy guys, and I hate periods (yay, not).  Don't get me wrong, he's a cool kid and all, but I just can't stand him right now!  I want to scream!
Anyway, yes, we have an actual notebook now.  It's tres exciting!
ARGH, seriously, what do I do?  I hate breaking up with people... but I guess I broke up with ____ and ____ lol.  And I totally still have a crush on ____ **.  Whatever, chem is really boring and really easy and my teacher is so strange.  She burned her hand today on the Bunsen burner.  Lady, you teach chem, even I know not to touch hot metal.  English is next, at least, so that's fun. 
Bell's about to ring.  Help me!!!

Response:
Leah,
Ok, don't break up with him... but try to talk to him or just avoid him or something.

Happy Thursday, y'all!


** - See guilty pleasures post.  This person is TOTALLY one of those sophomore boys.