I am a fiercely competitive person, but I try to contain that to areas where of strength; scrabble, jeopardy, board games, and floating. I am a champion floater, no joke. I cannot sink. Buoyancy, bitches. But anyway...
After last weeks surprising (but not really, because I had my reasons) win with Bridgewater, I've taken this a little more seriously. I looked at the match-ups and moved my roster not just based on projected points, but on how I felt teams would perform based on who and where and when they were playing. That was my reasoning for picking up the Packers defense, keeping Maclin on my roster for the week, and maybe some less successful changes. I LOVE FANTASY.
Thursday Night: Green Bay vs. Minnesota
- I tend to work opening shifts on Friday mornings, so Thursday nights I end up in bed around the time football starts. Curse not having cable in my room, which I only regret during football season and baseball playoffs.
- I'm playing Jordy Nelson and the GB def tonight, and when I wake up, I'm sitting comfortably at 34.6 points.
- Put my glasses on because I'm sure that I can't be reading that right.
- Nope, that's a real thing. My defense went OFF last night against the Vikings.
- I go to work in a decent mood. Friday ends up being a pretty decent day that ends with Tacos.
Sunday Afternoon: Philadelphia vs. St. Louis
- My day starts with an early knock on my door and my dad telling me he's not feeling well and I need to find someone else to go to the game with me. This is a problem; I don't really like going to games without my dad, and it's also 7am on a Sunday morning.
- I send three texts to no responses. Panic sets in. Eventually, dad downs some airbourne and we are on our way to the game.
- While eating a hoagie (yes, its a HOAGIE) I insist that I will not check my fantasy points during the game.
- I am a fool. Somehow I forgot that there's an entire screen that projects fantasy leaders, and I see one of my benched players listed. Damn it, Vincent Jackson, rarely have I done right by you. Le'Veon Bell isn't having a great game. Martellus Bennett isn't having a great game; in fact, he's having a really crappy game. I am complaining loudly to my father. Luckily the Eagles are winning big right now.
- Ah. As always, perhaps I spoke too soon.
- The Eagles are now having a really crappy game. My fantasy team is squeezing by on the solid start from Thursday night. I need Maclin to catch ALL THE TOUCHDOWNS. Instead, Foles must have thought I asked for several incomplete passes. Thanks for nothing, man. Then, with two minutes left in the 3rd, Maclin runs for a TD. Not only does this make me feel better about this game, but FANTASY POINTS. Thank goodness for Parkey this time around.
- I know, I know, I should be watching this game but I'm SO TIRED and instead I watch the play-by-play on my phone while laying down for a bit. By the time I get to yoga, I'm up 120 points to 60 in my match-up for this week.
- DEMARYIUS THOMAS, FINALLY. Seriously, I've been sitting on him hoping and hoping and FINALLY. I show this to Marissa, my yoga buddy, with excitement. She has no idea what any of this means. I'm so glad she's going to the game with me next week.
- When we get out of yoga, I decide I want pizza. I'm doing paleo/whole30 again this month, and I want to eat ALL THE PIZZA before I can't for a month. I check my fantasy score again.
- It is now 141 points to 64 points. I know I should be all Namaste but screw it. I'm crushing it this week, bitches. YEAH, BITCH.
- My team was done after the 4pm games ended. This normally causes panic, but I am so far ahead right now, my match-up is playing one last person in this game (Giovani Bernard), and I'm up by 80 points.
- Plus pizza. I am eating so much pizza.
- Damn, I really want pizza already.
- I don't watch this game when I get home because I fall asleep in my yoga clothes in a pizza coma. It's beautiful.
- Fantasy wise, this game means nothing to me. My week is over. I've won. I feel like this dog.
- This game means something to me because I hate the Redskins. I hate Maryland teams in general, although baseball right now has me feeling conflicted. Am I currently an Orioles fan? I guess I can be, since I'm not living in Baltimore anymore.
- Anyway, the Redskins losing is a beautiful ending to a great week in fantasy.
- THIS DOG CAN'T EVEN, YOU GUYS.
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