Tuesday Morning: Post-Loss Recoup
- Leah goes through the 7-Stages of Fantasy Football loss grief; these include drinking too much coffee, eating dairy-based food stuffs (oooh, lordy, lactose intolerance), and yelling at people for making terrible player suggestions. These also including crying at work, because I am PMSing and overwhelmed. Also, stop ordering salted caramel mocha's -- I beg you, they are the worst drink ever.
- I cry a second time at work because my hands are disgustingly sticky from making yet another SCM. I quit today.
- Decide not to ask anyone else for advice this entire season. Go home and pass out accidentally for a couple of hours still wearing my work pants. It happens.
- I am feeling newly empowered by my decision to go with my gut (and all of my online research) about players for this week; feminism! (???)
- I've decided that Maclin is going to be my secret weapon this season, pending injuries (please, Jeremy, please don't get hurt. Again.) and I keep him on my starting line-up. I also continue to be impressed with Parkey, who was my last round pick during the draft after seeing him nail a killer FG during a pre-season game. I also pick up the Eagles defense for this week, because the Redskins (lololololol).
- Have a moment of conflict after loading my roster with my home team players.
- It's gone. Go Eagles!
- I have no one playing in this game, but my match-up (team name "Hurricane Julio") has -- wait for it -- Julio Jones, and racks up 28.1 points in the game. Damnnnnnnn.
- I fall asleep early because I always work in the morning on Fridays, but wake up a few times during the night -- my least favorite wake-up in a text from my dad that just says "Julio Jones is having a big game. Sorry."
- Thanks, Dad.
- Stress about all of my choices for Sunday. Read the internet. Move my roster.
- Move everything back to the way it was on Wednesday. F*ck it.
- I stop looking at my line-up completely. Instead, I get a haircut on Saturday.
- Accidental bob. I cut too much off. It's short. I hate it. But I don't. So much conflict; I am distracted enough by my lack of hair to not worry so much about football.
- Poppa bear and I head out around 10am for the game. We get there around 11:30 -- gotta stop for hoagies -- and it's already PACKED. There are people in the stadium already. Slow your roll, crazies.
- I decide I'm not going to check my fantasy team until after the game -- but the new stadium set-up makes that a pointless decision. There are fantasy stats all over the place during the game.
- Quick Eagles recap -- fights, fights, more fights, 4 people tossed from our section, Maclin is the BEST. Parkey is a badass. Eagles defense, eh, but solid enough to pull points for me.
- Realize my dad is the absolute best -- every time Maclin does something, he high-fives me and yells 'fantasy points!' -- we are, in fact, related.
- Fantasy is ruining my life again -- as the Eagles run down the clock, I turn to my dad to complain that they haven't brought Parkey in for a last FG attempt -- just so I can pull off a few more fantasy points.
- Peyton Manning makes me so mad. Mostly because I don't like him, but have to root for him. He's been consistent so far, but hasn't really gone off. My issue is REALLY with Demariyus Thomas, who has underperformed EVERY WEEK. STOP THROWING TO THE OTHER THOMAS, DAMMIT PEYTON.
- Realize that I not only make Harry Potter references consistently in my day-to-day life, but also during football, especially now. Fantasy Points = House Points, obviously. I want to win the Quidditch Cup. And, really, isn't a player earning a decent amount of points for your fantasy team, but still losing the game, isn't that just a little tiny bit like Viktor Krum catching the golden snitch during the World Cup game in 1994 against Ireland?
- Realize I need to cool it with these Harry Potter references.
- I am still losing by a lot of points, and I basically give up on this week. After being cocky as a result of my week one win, this is a bummer. I wanted to win ALL THE POINTS.
- I played Jordy Nelson over Vincent Jackson this week. lolololololol what is my life?
- Sunday night starts to look a bit brighter -- Le'Veon Bell goes OFF, and as much as I hate the Steelers, he's pushing me toward a surprising come back win for week three.
- TEN POINTS TO RAVENCLAW! (Obviously I'm in Ravenclaw, come on now)
- By the time I fall asleep, I've officially won this week, and I still have another player left for Monday night.
- Cue the maniacal laughter and multiple texts from my dad.
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| James Potter was a CHASER, idiots. UGH. |
- I follow the game on my phone because I have Martellus Bennett on my team.
- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I love fantasy football.
- 125 to 100, sorry not sorry. First place in our league, sorry not sorry.
- Denver has a BYE week next week.
- I knew that but forgot.
- I'm going to go read some Harry Potter now. Strategize.
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