Fantasy Football Week 4: The Play-By-Play

Okay, I know I'm running late on my post for today - I had to work, and didn't get to do my write up last night.  I actually wondered this morning if anyone (namely Diana) would notice, and who should text me this morning asking about the post but my bestie!  I also just got a text from her saying I have until 6pm to post this, so here it is!

Wednesday: Post-Win panic

• If you saw my post from last week, you know that my QB and one of my receivers had a bye week.  I played people off of my bench, but I also attempted to be intelligent about football and did some reading.  I figured I could take a chance this week, and picked up Vikings QB Teddy Bridgewater, who started this week.  Newbie trying to prove himself?  I only need him for this one week, so I dropped Alex Smith and decided to go big or go home. 

Thursday Night: New York vs. Washington DC

• I do not watch this game because priorities.  Too tired to stay up that late, no players in the game, and I HATE those two teams and only root for injuries if I even bother to watch. 
• Giants win, and Eli Manning has a stupid face.  DONE.

Sunday: Chicago vs. Green Bay (and some snippets of Lions/Jets and Bucs/Steelers)

• I work until 2 on Sunday, so when I get home I put on my eagles t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants (because DAMMIT I'm a lady.  Also it was a LONG day at work, which I will be posting about later this week.  UGH).  I have two players in the Bears/Packers game; Jordy Nelson and Martellus Bennettt, who is badass recently. 
• I get home and settled enough in time to see the last quarter of the game.  I secretly root for the Bears because seriously?  I think we're all closet Chicago fans.  And Aaron Rodgers scarred me forever with that mustache.  I will NEVER forgive him for that.
• Game ends, and I have picked up some solid points from both Bennett and Nelson.  Thanks, guys.  It ends early enough that they switch over to another game.
• Hey, the Jets are loosing!  I am happy about this, because the Jets.  Ugh.  It's like the entire team has that creepy Aaron Rodgers mustache.  Not because of facial hair, but Jets fans make me feel like I need to shower.  I feel conflicted because my matchup for this week is playing Stafford.  I am playing Chris Ivory who has done better than projected, but I should want him to pick up more.... right?
• Nah, still hate the Jets.
• The game ends, and the station switches to the Tampa Bay vs. Pittsburgh game. I am conflicted again because Pittsburgh fans are worse than Jets fans and Le'Veon Bell isn't doing too much for me.  However, Vincent Jackson looks crappy, too.  I am playing both of them.  Damn it, guys.
• Vincent Jackson, way to under perform.  Angry. SO ANGRY.  I am hardcore rooting for the Bucs, but Jackson misses three touchdown opportunities.
• I hate him. 
• Finally catches one with 7 seconds left in the game.  He picks up fantasy points for me AND the Steelers lose lolololololol
• I love everything about football in this moment. 

Sunday: Philadelphia vs. San Francisco

• Leah gets emotional when she watches football, and this is my stream-of-consciousness ramblings that took place during the game:
• You're going to challenge that?  A minute into the game? 
• lolololololol sucks to be you, Harbaugh. 
• I dropped the Eagles defense for San Diego after playing the Eagles last week in fantasy.... wtf.  why???
• I take back all of those comments.  I dropped them for a good reason, and here they go, stinking it up already.  Giving up downs all over the place.
• Check fantasy - SD defense has dropped from 12 to 6 points. assholes.
• Okay maybe I should have played eagles defense. SD is down to three points, GODDAMN IT
• They are absolutely playing "California Love" at the game. I can hear it in the backgound and I totally love it
• Their punting sound effect sounds like the intro to the Backstreet Boys song "Everybody(Backstreet's Back)" 
• JESUS.  One of the Philadelphia touchdowns so far in the game have been scored by the DEFENSE.  And I dropped them.  I hate fantasy football. At least I picked up a Parkey point for his extra point.
• Three touchdowns in and Maclin has done nothing.  At least Parkey is hitting the extra points
• I take a shower during halftime because I love to multitask.  I also really need to wash my hair.  I do not shave my legs because I do not want to miss the start of the second half.  This is not weird for me, I hate shaving my legs.  Sorry not sorry.
• My mother joins me for the third quarter.  I stop liveblogging my reactions.  Instead, I just get mad about how crappy this game is going, both in fantasy and in life.
• ANGER.
• NOT ANGER because my QB pickup is turning out to be an excellent addition.  Bridgewater is going OFF, and I mean that literally because there is a brief clip of him being taken off the field with an ankle injury.  I am not totally upset because he has already scored 23.38 points and now he can't screw it up and lose some. 
• This Eagles game sucks.  They look like crap.  Maclin and Parkey did pretty much nothing after having three great weeks.

Monday Night: New England vs. Kansas City

• This is my first week not having anybody in the Monday night game, and although I'm up by about 30 points going into it, I'm nervous.  So nervous.
• I'm so nervous that I don't watch the game at all, and instead go eat homemade dumplings at a friends house.  I check my fantasy team sporadically, and fall asleep before the game is even over.
• I WAKE UP TO ANOTHER WIN.  AWWWW YEAH.

I LOVE FANTASY FOOTBALLLLLLLL